“𝙸'𝚍 𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝” - 𝙿𝚛𝚎𝚏𝚒𝚎𝚛𝚘 𝚗𝚘 𝚎𝚜𝚌𝚞𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛 𝚎𝚜𝚘 -

Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also harder to bear” – C. S. Lewis-

Have you ever been told something that hurts you today when you think about it? I think that many times we don’t realize how much words can provoke, and we must be very careful with this, especially with our family relationships. Psychology studies have shown that the way our parents talk to us and the environment in which we grow up, greatly influences the way we see ourselves and our personality, it can influence our self-concept, self-esteem and generate emotional attachment. https://linaresnevadopsicologos.com/que-causa-la-baja-autoestima-en-los-adolescentes/

That said, I want to give you some examples of things that you have probably heard, and I hope that they can help you in some way or another.

“I don’t have time for you”

It is obvious that you will never have all the time in the world for a person, there is no doubt about that, but there are better ways to express it. This phrase just makes us think that they don’t want to spend time with us and makes us feel alone, so instead of saying that you don’t have time for someone, just explain to them that you have certain things to do and that you will be available later :)

“You are too skinny/fat”

Have they made comments about your body or weight while you are eating? Although sometimes they seem like small things, these types of comments make things like body shaming and beauty stereotypes continue to exist and affect us. Making comments like this to someone can cause that person to have an unhealthy relationship with food, either blaming themselves for eating or finding it challenging. Instead, we should promote a balanced diet, in moderation and avoid these types of comments. Remember that all bodies are different and there is nothing wrong with yours.

“I wish you were like that”

Just as we should not compare ourselves to other people, our parents should not compare us to other people either. Not only does it make us feel more insecure or jealous, but it also makes us feel inadequate. For example, being told “I wish you were more like your brother/sister” only makes us feel like there is something wrong with us.

“Why didn’t you do it?”

Just like the phrase above, it is frustrating when our parents judge us for doing or not doing something. Things like “Why didn’t you get into a certain school? Why didn’t you get into a certain activity?” only make us feel bad about ourselves, especially when we are trying hard to give it our all. It can damage our self-esteem and turn us into people who are obsessed with being perfectionists, always hurting ourselves for every little mistake.

“Why are you like that?”

Have you ever heard it? How do you respond? The person saying this phrase may simply be saying it because they are feeling frustrated, but either way it can bring serious psychological consequences, especially in a young person, who may believe that there is actually something wrong with them, this phrase should be avoided as much as possible. Phrases like “Tell me what’s wrong” or “I’m listening, let’s talk about this” are better alternatives that also promote healthy communication.

Did you identify with any of these phrases? Even if you didn’t, I think we should continue to consider how our words can affect others, it’s important to seek professional help, and talk to your loved ones about what hurts you. Remember that words can be forgiven, but not forgotten.

That’s all for today, thank you very much for reading, have a nice day! :)